some quotes to make ur day..

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realise half of them are stupider than that. - George Carlin

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.” - George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
George Carlin

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
George Carlin

Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on-Robert Bloch

"A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer"

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another [theory] which states that this has already happened.